Ever wonder why life deals you the hand it does?
Are your children healthy? Is your marriage happy? Do you have enough to eat? Have you lost a spouse? Have you lost a child? Did you lose a parent too soon? Were you raised not knowing who your parents are? Are you confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your life? Did you lose the love of your life?
Life really isn't fair. We hear it all the time, but it just sounds like another cliché we offer in response to someone's pain; much like when someone has a virus of some kind and we mindlessly respond: "yeah... I think there's something going around."
Why do we say it? Is it supposed to be comforting?
Life isn't fair. Some people claim to know why this is, like there is some plausible explanation. Those people are full of shit. There is no magical explanation. Life isn't fair and that's that.
So what do you do about it? What do you do if you don't like living where you live, but you can't go back home because home doesn't exist anymore? Not the way it was, anyway. What do you do if the life you'd hoped for, the life that was right at your fingertips, isn't there anymore? What do you do when the child you love more than anything on the planet gets sick? Are you allowed to feel frustrated? Are you allowed to take a moment to feel sorry for yourself? Are you allowed to ask, why me?
How do we cope? How do we balance all these feelings? Is it possible to feel anger and empathy at the same time? Is it possible to want nothing but the best for someone and still wish that it wasn't making your life miserable? Is it possible to feel someone else's pain while resenting them? Is it acceptable to feel tired? More than anything else, is it acceptable to forgive yourself for feeling these things?
Maybe the best way to cope is to look life square in the eye and say, "Fuck you!" Just tell life how you feel, for once. Get it out in the open. Maybe then you can move on. Life might not give a shit — and probably won't, to be honest — but at least you can get it out of your system.
Some things we have control over and some things we don't. It's easy to say that we can't control the situation, but we can control how we deal with it. But sometimes that's easier said than done.
Coping is merely survival. But is it okay to just survive? What if you want to enjoy more of life? Is it okay to want? Is it okay to find a way to live your life? To cheat life for a while? To tell life that if it won't play fair, neither will you? Who's to say what's right or wrong. Your heart tells you what's right. Your heart tells you what's wrong. But sometimes life happens in the middle. Sometimes life occurs in between what's right and what's wrong. What do we do then?
Is coping good enough? Is it enough just to survive? I think that very often we find life in the cracks; in between the seat cushions; underneath a pile of bills; in that shady spot in the yard where you think nothing will grow. Life isn't fair. It's true. But life will often throw you a bone; a little unexpected treasure. Take it. Enjoy it. It's yours. Maybe it's life's way of saying, "Hey... I know I didn't deal you the best hand... but here's a little treat. This one's on me."
Don't question it. Just take it. Enjoy it. Relish it. Who knows if it's gonna last. It seems the best things in life rarely do.
Photo by Saneej Kallingal on Unsplash